How do your earliest peer relationships continue to shape every connection you make as an adult? The answer lies in understanding siblinghood.
Take the Sibling Blueprint quiz and get a free worksheet tailored to help you understand and reshape your adult relational patterns.
Hi! I’m Minaa B.
I’m a licensed therapist, author of "Owning Our Struggles," and creator of The Siblinghood Theory. As the youngest of 13 in a blended family system, I bring both professional expertise and lived experience to understanding the profound impact of sibling relationships on adult connections.
Whether you have biological siblings or are an only child who had to choose your siblings, I believe sibling relationships are reflected in all types of connections we form, be it platonic, romantic, or even in workplace dynamics. I developed this quiz to help guide you and gain a better understanding of yourself. The Siblinghood Theory is simply a new way to describe adult relationships and the way we talk about family.
Owning Our Struggles: A Path to Healing and Finding Community in a Broken World
Adversity comes in many forms and can make us feel alone in our pain, even years after the fact. But as licensed therapist Minaa B. observes, we can’t heal in isolation. The best way to move past individual trauma is through connection and community—healing ourselves and one another.
A column within the Mindful With Minaa newsletter, THIS IS SIBLINGHOOD, explores the complexities of sibling and family dynamics through the lens of The Siblinghood Theory. Each piece unpacks how our earliest relationships shape who we are and how we build community today.
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What matters more than actual birth order is our perceived role in the family. This is where the idea of psychological birth order comes in. Psychological birth order reflects how you function within your family system, not where you fall chronologically.
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You would think that rivalry and competition are something that siblings outgrow over time. When you’re young and immature, still trying to understand your sense of self as your personality develops, fighting over who got the better birthday party or Christmas gift feels like a rite of passage for siblings.
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Many of us grew up in homes where we were taught that "blood is thicker than water," which meant that family came before everyone else, even if a family member was toxic, harmful, or dysfunctional. What we often don't talk about, however, is when that family member is a sibling and the stress that comes with the expectation that you're supposed to bail them out of every problem they have, or tolerate their abuse and harmful behavior.